


Love can make a fool of you, but can a fool love?

by Namgangs



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Gen, Grantaire's POV, M/M, One Shot, One-Sided Enjolras/Grantaire, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-22
Updated: 2017-09-22
Packaged: 2019-01-04 02:51:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12160041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Namgangs/pseuds/Namgangs
Summary: Love can make a fool of you, but can a fool love?





	Love can make a fool of you, but can a fool love?

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I wrote something in English, so if it's off, please gently let me know. ><  
> ( I know my English sucks. )

  
You're drunk. Again.  
You hear Enjolras shouting 'R' then 'worthless'.  
You know you should care, well, you do care but right now you're too drunk.  
You want to apologize, saying you're sorry but the words that slip through your lips are,  
'It's who I am, what are you hoping for?'  
you smirk like it doesn't hurt, you can't right? how can a person who doesn't give any shit hurt?  
But the truth is you're hurt more than the feeling showing on Enjolras' face.  
You want to cry, instead, you laugh.  
Because Enjolras is always right.  
You are a fool  
Worthless.  
Good for nothing.  
  
  
  
You wake up, covered in your own puke.  
The world spins, the ceiling looks like the floor and the floor looks like the ceiling.  
You're feeling sick not just physical, but, more.  
Maybe tonight you should apologize, should promise Enjolras what happens last night won't happen again.  
But, you're bad at keeping your word, even you can trade your life for it to become true.

  
  
Die for someone is easy, live up to someone's expectation is hard.  
You know it too well to ~~promise~~ lie again.  
  
  
  
His smile, his eyes, his hair.  
Enjolras is simply beautiful.   
You love him, and yet, look at him makes you hurt.  
  
  
  
'Why are you still smiling when I'm mad at you?'  
your Apollo asked once,  
and you slurred back  
'Because maybe you will hit me this time.'  
Enjolras made a face.  
Seem like since then you were not just a drunkard fool anymore.  
Now in his eyes, you're a total nutjob.  
  
  
  
Enjolras is perfect and yet, you can't at least function like normal people.  
  
  
  
'You can't love me if you don't even love yourself, R'  
Oh, right, people like Enjolras won't and can't understand you.  
You do love Enjolras. You know you do.  
It's the only thing that real in your fucked up life.

  
  
It's not like you don't want to change, to be a better man for him.  
You would do anything for Enjolras to look at you. Smile at you. Laugh with you and not at you.  
But it's hard, and to be near Enjolras is hurt so you drink more, one more, two more, three more.   
At the end of the night, you lose your count.  
Your blood turns to alcohol. Your breath too.  
Maybe tomorrow, maybe another next day, you will stop drinking, but not tonight.  
  
  
  
 _'Love yourself first,' they always said._  
You can love anything but yourself, actually.  
  
  
  
You're sober for the first time ever. Enjolras doesn't smile at you. He knows you will fail him again. You always fail him. You're a failure.  
Still, you're a bit sad but it doesn't matter.  
You feel good today. You talk with your friends, ramble and babble nonsense.  
Everyone laughs, smiles, bets how long can you go on with your nonsense talk.  
You're being loved. You don't see that clearly when you were drunk but now you see it.  
You're thankful.  
You're happy.  
Then Enjolras smiles.  
Suddenly, this ugly world is beautiful again.

  
  
  
You still hate yourself.  
But you don't have to love yourself,  
someone already does that job for you.  
  
  
  
Damn, you drink again, wondering how can someone love you or even like you anymore.  
So you drink more until you forget how much you hate yourself.  
It doesn't work this time.  
  
  
  
Revolution.  
You were drunk while it happened.  
Your friends died while you slept.  
You hate yourself more than the ones who kill your friends.  
  
  
  
A coward. A worthless.  
Enjolras might say that, might tell you to run, instead he smiles and offers you a hand.  
He knows you're willing to die for him. WITH HIM.   
You cry and yet you smile.  
You reach out to be beside him.  
His hand is warm than ever. Your heartbeat beats so loud.   
  
  
  
'I'm glad you're here, R'  
  
  
  
The bullets ain't even that hurt.

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
